loaded_march | Entries tagged with faqs

I'm still on track to post the Loaded March Epilogue tomorrow, as originally planned, despite somehow, inexplicably, catching the flu (I blame a coworker) and getting knocked out for a couple of days. Before I do post, I thought I'd address questions that were sent to me in PM and through email. The questions were all along the same line, so I thought to answer them all at once, here.

( Cut for spoiler )

.

I received a few comments asking about the toastie that was mentioned in Adventures in Babysitting, and yes, it's a real thing, at least for me, because it's what I eat when I'm hungry and not in the mood to make something complicated. There's no real actual recipe, it fails the dietary caloric intake, but the ingredients are at least... somewhat healthy?

But the chocolate spread-banana sandwich is just that: a chocolate spread-banana sandwich.

1. Lightly toast two slices of bread. Any kind of bread. Whatever you have on hand. Toast it to your desired specifications -- my "lightly toasted" equals "light brown but soft enough to bite through without running the risk of getting my soft palate pierced by a sharp piece", but for some people, it might mean "lightly toasted until charcoal black". To each their own.

2. Spread Nutella (a chocolate-hazelnut spread, if you don't know it. And if you don't have it, OMG, how do you survive?) on one slice of toast. Or both, depending on your mood. The packaging says that there's a hundred calories in a couple of tablespoons of Nutella, but I don't make this sandwich because I care about the calories, okay? I don't scrape on a measly couple of tablespoons. I dig into the jar and slather it on like it's frosting for a cake, all right?

2a. If you don't have any Nutella or acceptable chocolate spread, I have also substituted maple syrup spread, peanut butter, and coconut-chocolate spread. Failing that (and there have been far too many times in this house where we've completely run out of any kind of spread, which induces momentary panic), I've also used brown sugar -- a couple of heaping tablespoons and packed down on one slice of toast. Yes, I still have all of my teeth. Why do you ask?

3. Slice the banana until you have a neat pile on top of the chocolate spread. Arrange the slices so it's at least somewhat uniformly flat and covers all of the chocolate. If there's any banana left over, I give it to my dog. He always likes it when I make toasties. He's guaranteed to get at least a quarter to a full half of a banana to himself, depending on the size of the banana.

4. Except where I used brown sugar to replace the spread, I don't use any (extra) sugar. Sometimes, if I feel like being fancy, I sprinkle cinnamon on the bananas. I've also used unsweetened coconut flakes or sprinkle crushed nuts. Most of the time, though, I just (lightly) mash the other slice of bread on top.

Number five is, "slice it in awesome geometric shapes and eat it", but I figured that was a given and I didn't need to point that out.

In the last little while, I've gotten several requests from people who wondered if I knew of a podfic of the Loaded March series, and I've similarly received several offers from people who asked if they could podfic the series and what my policy was. All of these are from unrelated people, and, geez, I figure I better say something.

First of all, I'm sorry to say that I'm not aware of any existing podfics of the Loaded March series, and that I'm hugely flattered that so many people want to take on the massive undertaking of podficcing something as monstrous as the Loaded March series. I'm aware that it's a lot of work, and I would never ask someone to do that.

But you're all crazy people (have I mentioned how much I love you crazy people?) because you keep asking and offering, so, here's the deal:

1. I've always planned on going back to word number one to fix mistakes, edit continuity errors, and add scenes and parts that are missing. To those who have asked about podficcing, I've said that I don't feel right letting you do all that work when I'm just going to go back to the beginning to fix it anyway, and the podfic would end up needing to be updated. However, since it's going to take a while before I can revise the series from the beginning, I'm going to suggest any podfics that are made also include a disclaimer that it's based on the version that was posted on XX date.

2. I'd like to get links to those podfics to make them available to those who would like to get their hands on them, and also so that those people can lavish you with their praises and thanks.

3. Because I've had so many offers (and by virtue of my being sort of obnoxiously disorganized), I'm wondering if those of you who have offered would like to pool in your efforts? I mean, there's 10 parts, over half a million words, I'm sure that there's more than enough work to go around (says the person who has no idea about podfics or what's involved in creating them, but who is married to someone who does radio voice work and has some knowledge of voice talents). If you're interested, chime in on this post.

First lines are awesome. They're the bait and the hook to lure the reader in.

Some first lines are great -- they set the scene, the tone, and plant the lure all in one go. If the words are chosen well enough, you get a taste for what's waiting you if you keep reading. It could be action, it could be romance, it could be mystery, or worse, it could be something lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce. A good line will leave you waiting for more, each and every time.

Some first lines are horrible -- either intentionally or otherwise -- and still achieve the same end. Maybe you're hooked because it's so bad you want to see if the rest of it is really that bad, or if the author went with that approach because it sets a particular tone. Or maybe it's horrible in the way bad first lines are horrible -- like a train wreck you can't look away from.

Either way, there are no bad first lines. I don't believe in "bad" first lines. The first line is meant to hook a reader, but just like fishing, not every bait will attract every fish. It will work for some people, it won't on others.

( First lines -- including Part Nine's super secret first line (sneak peak!) )

No, I promise! The Writer's Block in the subject line isn't mine! Although, the migraine that is now in day two... three? of its unrelenting assault is doing a pretty good job keeping me from writing.

Someone asked how I deal with Writer's Block, so instead of writing (which I can't do at the moment because every time I try, it comes out like crap), I am going to write about writing. Or rather, not writing. Because, you know, that's what Writer's Block is.

So -- how do I deal with Writer's Block? About as well as I seem to deal with Writer's Burn-Out, which is Not Well, because the eagle-eyed among you have probably noticed that when I complain about the Block or the Burn-Out, I invariably still have some sort of word output, which is completely contradictory to having Writer's Block or Writer's Burn-Out in the first place.

But I digress.

There's several types of Writer's Block -- at least, I've been hit by a few that I recognized as such, but really, nobody gets hit by Writer's Block in quite the same way. So here are ten situations that I've found myself in and what I've done to get out of it.

( Ten ways that Writer's Block is like a Wall you just ran your car into )

I lost my brain yesterday after watching two days straight of a Merlin Marathon on Space. Granted, it was only the first two seasons, but I saw a couple of episodes I hadn't seen before and got ridiculously happy that there was innuendo that I might not have to break canon for a particular thing in LM only to have my hopes dashed by a "By the way, did you know that..." at the end of that episode.

So, today, I'm in a petulant, Fine, I'll do whatever I want sort of mood.

Which means that today, you're getting a thing about writing on how I do my descriptions.

The usual disclaimer applies -- I'm not a doctor, though I play one on TV --

No, wait. That's not right. Let's try again:

The usual disclaimer applies -- The following episodes contain scenes of extreme violence, explicit sexual acts, and swearing --

*pinches bridge of nose*

This isn't working. *heavy sigh* Ok, I'll give it one more go.

The usual disclaimer applies -- I am a trained professional with over fifteen years of experience. Don't try this at home --

*throws arms up in frustration*

What I'm trying to say is, I don't know what I'm doing, what I do might not work for you, someone else out there might know a better way, and by all means, please chime in with how you do it so that other people (myself included) can benefit from your experience.

*blinks*

Hey, that wasn't so hard.

( This Way to the Description Exposition and Example Snippet )

In the past, I've worked with talented artists, both professional and working-to-get there as a freelance graphic novels editor. Once upon a time, I could actually sketch something a bit above stick figures and paint scenes that weren't a blotch on the sheet. These days, I'm completely out of practice, lucky if I can draw those stick figures, and the only painting I've done in the last while was the bright red of my new bathroom's walls.

I know how much work is involved in doing up a simple body figure on an eight-by-ten. It doesn't matter if it's pencil or charcoal or blue lines and ink. It takes time and concentration and talent and skill to get an image on paper -- just as much, if not more, as it takes to get words on the page.

For that reason, I have a tremendous amount of respect for artists, and it's why I am flattered in a way that words can't express when someone asks me if they can draw a scene from any of the parts of Loaded March.

I have absolutely no objection to that. In fact, if anything, I'll probably trip over myself in excited, clapping happiness, and will have a hard time stopping myself from suggesting scenes that I really, really would like to see somewhere other than in the inside of my head.

If you're someone who would like to draw something from Loaded March or from anything else that I've written, I am (to borrow a phrase), dead chuffed.

A big thank you to those who want to draw something from LM (or anything else).

The only things that I would ask are these:
1) if there is a scene that's missing details, or isn't detailed enough, or you have questions about, let me know and I can elaborate on it and offer more description.

2) let me know where it's been posted and from which part of LM (or other work) that it's from so that I can link to it both on LJ and on AO3 so that you can get love from the people who have been reading the series -- believe me, a lot of people would do the same excited, clapping happiness dance that I'll be doing at seeing the artwork.

3) link back to LM (or other work) that the scene is from.

That's it. Oh, and if you're all right with it, PM me some way to get in touch with you so that I can do that excited, clapping happy dance personally. To, you know, thank you!

I'm posting the drabbles/snippets/etc to Loaded March EXTRAS so that I can have everything in one spot.

The request from

kianspo was: How and why did Merlin go through counter-interrogation?

and is posted here: Anti-Interrogation (4900 words)

mii_hazeru asked: I read about your process for individual chapters, but wondered about the whole story. Do you have, like, the plot outlined or just an idea of where you want it to go?

That's an awesome question! I'll answer it when I stop snickering.

No, really.

( Long answer got long )

shiny4love asked: What did Smith say to Merlin on the plane to Algiers that made him so pale and scared?

I had to go back and refresh my memory, but here is the part in The Jester where the team is on the plane to Algiers leading up to this scene, and Merlin's POV.

( The original from Arthur's POV )
( What did Bayard tell Merlin? )